Featured, Kids

Happy 5th Birthday Audrey Grace!

2 Comments 02 February 2012

 

Dear Audrey Grace,

This last year has gone so fast. It seems like just yesterday that we were bouncing and sliding around in the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse bouncer for your 4th Birthday and now here we are, with another year under our belt. Five. FIVE. Wow. You are growing so fast and while I have a blast watching you grow, part of me desperately wants you to slow down so that I can savor one more snuggle, one more hug, one more pout, one more smile. Sometimes I ask you to turn around and come back to me, to give me another hug or some more love and you oblige me, but now that you’re older you have a distinctive “my mom has lost her mind” look on your face.

I can only imagine what your teenage years will bring.

Yesterday you chose your Mickey Mouse dress from your 4th birthday party to wear to school, since it was your “last day of being four”. As soon as we got out of the car you started telling everyone who would listen – “it’s my last day of being four!” with the kind of glee that is usually reserved for a trip to the beach or a visit with Mickey Mouse. Moments like this make me giggle, because you are far from what most people would consider a shy child. As a matter of fact when, a month into the school year, you teacher told me that you were one of the quietest girls in the class I worried that something was terribly wrong. You’ve since made up for it, and they are now trying to figure out how to make you pipe down during circle time. Your Italian heritage has served you well – you are a child who talks frequently and uses her hands for emphasis. I have no idea where you get that from.

This year has brought so many changes for the two of us. For starters, we uprooted our lives from the only place either of us had ever known — Louisiana — and moved out to sunny southern California. You haven’t missed a beat – you dove headfirst into your new school, made new friends, and oftentimes I think you know the way home even better than I do. You love living close to the beach and to Disneyland – and we find ourselves at both of those places pretty often. Sometimes it makes me sad that you will probably not remember a time when you were a full-time resident of Louisiana, but I’m thankful that the frequent trips home means that you’ll always be a Louisiana girl at heart.

You love our little family out in California even more than I ever expected. You have embraced “Misser Morgan” and “Beezie Boy” with a big, open heart as if they have always been a part of your family. You have called Banks your brother from the near start, and a few months ago I sat you down to explain that he wasn’t your brother just yet, but that he would be in September when Mommy and Mister Morgan get married. You looked at me with those clear blue eyes and simply said “but I can call him my brother anyway, can’t I?” Your love for him melts my heart – you are so happy to have him in your life. Every morning you wake up and ask “is it a Banks day?” and my answer either excites you or disappoints you – but you ask again the next morning just the same. It is my wish for both of you that you will always be close – it is not blood but love that binds us all. You will always have each other.

For the first time this year, you had to deal with heartbreak. Our sweet dog Lilly passed away a month after we moved to California. It took me two whole weeks to compose myself enough to be able to tell you what happened. When I told you that Lilly had gone to heaven you seemed sad, but fine. And then you turned to me and asked how long it would be until she came back from heaven. Fighting back tears, I told you that she would never come back. And then you cried. You cried hard, taking big gulping breaths in between sobs. I couldn’t help it – I cried too. And so for almost 2 hours we sat together and I stroked your hair and we cried. Seeing you so heartbroken just about killed me. I would do anything to protect you from such pain, but there was no way to do that. I’m sure it will be the first of several times in your life where I feel totally helpless, and I hate it.

This year you have been full of questions. Why do we put conditioner on my hair, mommy? How does it work to make my hair soft? What sound does Mickey Mouse start with? Are there rules in heaven? When I get older mommy, can I still follow you? Why doesn’t my hair glow like Rapunzel’s? When I get older, can I be a Princess? Is chocolate healthy for you? Who am I going to marry one day? Some of your questions make me giggle and some of them really make me think, but I love that all of them give me a glimpse into your mind and your heart. You have always been so curious, so analytical. Even though you can be a little incredibly hard-headed, I think that your persistence and inquisitive nature will serve you well, and so I do my best to encourage it.

Remember how last year you had gradually started moving toward loving all things girly? Well this year marked the full-on girlfication of Audrey Grace – Princesses, Hello Kitty, Barbie, and anything else pink are all at the top of your list. Speaking of last year – I also promised that this would be the year that I would cut your hair for the first time. Well, I was wrong. You still have every bit of hair that you were born with. It’s super long and a bit wild, but I just can’t bear the idea of parting with your curls. It works out because you aren’t any more interested in having it cut than I am in cutting it – so we can both just pretend that you are a real-life Rapunzel for a bit longer.

Audrey Grace, you are the most thoughtful little girl that I have ever known. You bring me flowers, draw pictures for me almost every day, and write letters to all of your friends. You worry about kids that you see who aren’t wearing jackets, remember to call and check on family members when they are sick (even when I forget), and point out things that you know your friends and family would like when we are in the store. One of your favorite parts of Christmas this year was buying toys for the other kids – you still ask once a week at least when we can buy some more toys for the kids who don’t have any. You are so full of love for everyone and I couldn’t be more proud of that.

I can say, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that being your mommy is the most difficult job that I’ve ever had. That’s not to say that it is hard to love you because it’s not – on the contrary, loving you is probably the easiest thing I’ve ever done. But the day to day responsibility of making you into the best possible human being that you can be is one that I don’t take lightly. I have so many hopes and dreams for you, and I also realize that you will (and already do) have so many of your own. All that I want is to be able to raise you in a way that equips you with all that you need to realize those dreams on your own. Of course, I’ll be there every step of the way to cheer you on – I’m your biggest fan.

Audrey Grace, I love you more than I think I will ever be able to put into words. You bring so much joy into each and every single one of my days. I cannot believe that it has been five whole years since Dr. Striplin first placed you into my arms. You didn’t know it, but on that day you taught me how to love unconditionally. I am so proud to be your mommy. Out of everything I’ve accomplished in my life, you are what I’m most proud of.

I love you my angel.

Love always,

Mommy

 

Your Comments

2 Comments so far

  1. MomB says:

    This is so beautiful Erika such a reflection of your heart and hers. I hope that you frame this for Audrey so see can read it whenever she wants to feel her wonderful Mother’s joy in her: Every birthday, every once in awhile, everyday, so she will know that your love was there at the beginning and will always be with her forever.

    To our Princess: Happy 5th Birthday Audrey Grace and many more. Nana2

  2. Lauren Bush says:

    LOVE!! Happy Birthday, Audrey Grace from you East Coast fam!!! :)


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